Day 129: Imaginary Deadline Countdown

by Sarah Devika Sumnauth

So today was another big research day.  After Wednesday’s great success and minor interruption in which I booked myself a trip (more on that later), I went into today with the mindset that I would get a lot done, and I did!

I have been going through an intensive process to gain the best, most up to date information out there on various minerals.  So far I’ve covered, Silica, Zinc Oxide, Titanium Dioxide and Mica and have a whole list left to do.  But you know what?  I feel pretty awesome about it. 

Going into this process, I had no idea how involved it would actually become.  That’s because as a researcher and a student, I’m a total stickler for detail.  I won’t leave any stone unturned and generally want to know as much as possible, whenever possible.  Which right now poses a small problem, but nothing huge.

Basically, my problem is this.  I want to have all my research done by Monday.  And having to work 8 hours tomorrow and also squeeze in some us time with Jess is gonna make this tricky.  I set myself this deadline, because I have a mineral makeup crafting class coming up and, I wanted to feel extremely knowledgeable as the class went underway.  But as life would have it, I am slowly coming up to that deadline but going remains slow. 

What to do? Well, either I could do what I’ve always done and have internal freakouts whenever I look at the clock, like I did back in university, or I could just chill out and remind myself that I’ve set myself this particular deadline, and if for some reason I have to give myself an extension, no one is going to fail a test or get an F…It’s just incredibly hard to re-route your though patterns sometimes after having them set so strictly in place for years and years of your educational life.

So here I go, or rather keep going.  Everytime I learn something new, I can praise myself and everytime I turn in for the night, I can remind myself that I am not a failure for not getting everything done today.  Because really and truly this information is for myself, and there is no limit on how much or little I can know, and that learning process certainly will never end.  Why give myself an imaginary F, when no one cares except myself?  I guess I deserve an imaginary A for effort and hey, today I’m ok with that.

Yes my standards are high, and yes I’m still going to keep heading straight for my goal because I have the rest of today, tomorrow after I finish work and Monday in between my breakfast meeting and 6 pm when the class starts.  But this just means that I have the opportunity to change how I feel about the whole process - because it’s exactly that, just a process, and I just want to take a moment to affirm that I’m rocking it!

So with that, keep calm and study on!